i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
