Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
