i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
