there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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