where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
