her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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