I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
