Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
