Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
