Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
