if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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