Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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