Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My bed smells like the plague
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
