He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I believe in your delicious
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
