I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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