the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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