You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
