she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
