oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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