I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
