ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
