she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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