Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
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Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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