Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
