listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
