ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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