Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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