Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize