Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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