just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
