Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
