I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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