I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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