Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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