i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
