carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize