Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
