sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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