kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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