i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
