I puked a lego.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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