she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
