God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
