I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
