: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
