For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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