The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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