My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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