Duck Duck Cougar?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't put those talents on a resume
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We're too hungover to prance.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize