i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
home. puking in laundry basket.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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