I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
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Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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