theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
