my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
