I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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