I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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