haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
