I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
