Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
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I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it