Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.