It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
honey bunches of taint.
Life is so much better after having sex.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Boobs speak an international language.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
