Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Randomize
