that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
