i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize